![]() ![]() Instead of telling his mother her complaining is not helping, and this is my wife, the mother of my children, and we are a family now, he took the path of least resistance and agreed with her. The stress and pressure and sleep deprivation also took a toll on him as well. It didn’t matter whether I was home or back to work, getting up through the night for feedings and then working all day. So, instead of helping me, she watched me struggle, and would then complain to my husband about all I wasn’t able to do, like take her shopping, cook food for her and her husband, and cater to her. So, needless to say, my recovery from my C-section took extra long, I was sleep deprived, and exhausted, not to mention the crazy hormonal changes your body goes through after giving birth. She came under the pretense of coming to help, but she did everything but. The real abuse started when my mother-in-law came back to visit after my twins were born. I also figured, since it’s external influences causing the problems, it will settle at some point. So, looking back, it was no coincidence that things were better. Keep in mind, in between her last visit and the time just before I delivered, his mother was out of the picture. We bought a house together and made a conscious decision to start our family. But, over time, things got much better, and we were in sync again. It was very easy for him to blame me for it rather than stand up to her for me. Because she was unhappy, my husband was unhappy. I could never do enough to keep her happy. No matter how much I did for her, no matter how much time I spent with her, or how much money I spent on her, she was never satisfied. ![]() His parents came to stay with us for a few months, and the honeymoon was over! My mother-in-law, being the typical backwards mother-in-law from India, started negatively influencing her son towards his new wife.The abuse became worse when his mother came to visit the second time. He was taken back to his childhood times as soon after we got married. After all, he was my husband, and I was in it for the long haul, in good times and bad. As long as he said he was sorry, I forgave him, and we moved forward. This is when I began to suspect something. He would tell me he knows what anger can do, and he never wanted to be “that” person. But as long as it was just the two of us, he was able to see when he hurt me and would apologize. I had no idea! History began repeating itself soon after marriage. My mother-in-law was emotionally abused by her husband. His father, although at home everyday after work, did not feel it was his responsibility to help with raising him. My ex grew up in an emotionally abusive household. ![]()
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